Having the Courage to Change

I notice that physical energy, as well as emotional energy, often shapes my days. Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether I’m experiencing physical-fatigue or the emotional fatigue that comes from feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances.

Last night I went to an ACA meeting that was near by, then didn’t get to sleep until late. As a result, I feel fuzzy-headed this evening because I could have used another hour of sleep this morning. I’ve been eating off and on the past few hours trying to wake up – as if more food would actually do that. (Now, there’s a classic demonstration of insanity, being that overeating almost always makes one sleepy!) I suppose caffeine or a sugar-blast might do something, but I rarely consume either. Sadly, that means I tend to go for carby foods, like tortilla chips, that make me sleepier, rather than wider awake. Dumb, really dumb. I’m probably a good candidate for OA, but I know it would become a distraction from the work I’m already doing.

As it is, I’ve already noticed that even thinking in terms of blog categories like health, paper sorting, step work and so on is already redirecting my focus from my original aim. I know I imagined myself daily, valiantly tackling of stacks of papers and boxes of this and that, to sort, distill and organize for this twelve month journey. Superwoman on the go! But doing that kind of work – with or without having to also look for employment – presumes two very particular things: lots of emotional energy and plenty of physical energy to go with it. Neither of which I seem to have in abundance these days. At least not yet.

So, my question is: How do I work on improving (i.e., increasing) my physical and emotional energy levels so I will not only want to do more but will feel like doing more?

As with most things, I’m taking a small step approach. For example, I often make faces to stretch and scrunch my facial muscles during the day. Doing that reveals how tight those muscles are, especially my jaw muscles from grinding my teeth. (A sure sign of stress.) Last week, I found some extremely sore muscles along the sides of my neck. It took me a few days of “monster face making” to get that soreness worked out. I suspect it’s related to the tightness in my shoulders. Tight muscles tell me I’m tense and being tense is not helpful when networking, interviewing or even writing cover letters. One of the things I hear often at JVS, is that it’s important not to let the fatigue of the job search show during an interview.

Since two primary goals for me are expanding my employment/income level and clearing out the excessive clutter in my life, both of which have intimidated and/or overwhelmed me often, I want to remember that taking care of my physical and emotional health is an important part of this process.

Action step(s):

• Continuing my short, core exercise routine each morning, including discovering (just this morning) a simple way to get a deeper workout.
• Paid the two bills from yesterday’s to-do list.
• Set a time to do some more “house” cleaning (closets, actually) for a friend for some extra cash.